Insults in Cartoon Form
by Red Witch
Summary: The Brotherhood react to an upcoming X-Men cartoon show. And they're not the only ones not happy with the situation!


**The disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any X-Men characters, no matter in what form is off watching cartoons. I got some pictures of the new 'Wolverine and the X-Men' cartoon online. It's only going to be shown in the UK first. Bummer. But then again, maybe as far as the Brotherhood is concerned, it's not such a bad thing.**

**Insults In Cartoon Form**

"Okay this is **unbelievable!** This time Xavier and his X-Geeks have gone too far!" Pietro zoomed in the living room carrying some papers. "Look at this! Look at this!"

"What are we looking at?" Pyro asked.

"These are images of the latest smear campaign of the X-Men!" Pietro said. "It's all over the Internet! Apparently Xavier licensed his name and sold some company the rights to make some kind of kid's cartoon based on our lives!"

"Really?" Lance was surprised.

"Yeah and as usual they do their best to make us look the worst! Exhibit A!" Pietro pointed. "Look at my uniform! Is that supposed to be me?"

"Pietro that is you and that's your uniform you wear," Lance did a double take.

"Are you blind? Look at the color! It's **Forest Green!" **Pietro shouted. "Not Lime Green, not Verdant Green, not Peridot but **Forest Green!** Everyone knows that is my worst color!"

"Still look pretty good in this," Pyro blinked.

"Well of course I do but that's not the **point!**" Pietro snapped. "The point is the designers of this…travesty **deliberately** picked my worst color in order to make me look bad! My costume is sky blue for a reason! It brings out my eyes and my best features! Xavier knew my worst color and told them to paint me up like a dead bloated frog to push his own propaganda!"

"Propaganda?" Wanda blinked.

"Look at the caption over our picture! The Brotherhood of **Evil** Mutants?" Pietro pointed out. "Please! If that's not propaganda I don't know **what** is!"

"Yeah we're not evil," Todd said. "Okay Mystique is evil and Magneto is pretty evil. And definitely that Sabertooth guy but not the rest of us."

"Well that thing Wanda did to those cheerleaders the other day wasn't very nice," Fred fidgeted.

"They had it coming!" Wanda snapped. "Let them shake their little pom poms in traction! Besides no one saw me hex the cage door of the weasel and skunk exhibits at the zoo! And it was just dumb luck that sewage pipe just happened to explode."

"Well you look pretty hot in this anyway," Todd's eyes widened. "And whoa! Is that supposed to be **me?"**

"Green guy with a idiotic smile and looks like Kermit's deranged cousin," Lance said looking at the picture. "That's you all right."

"Holy crap!" Todd did a double take. "I look so freaking cool!"

"You actually like the way you're depicted?" Lance asked.

"You **don't?**" Todd asked.

"Well look at my costume! Is **that **supposed to be me?" Lance pointed. "I hate the color gray! And that helmet sucks! Can't even see my face!"

"Yeah who'd have thought that fishbowl you usually wear was an improvement?" Pietro said.

"I think the mustache and the goatee look nice," Fred complimented. "You know you should try growing one Lance!"

"I don't know about the mustache but that goatee is kind of cool," Lance mused. "Look at you Blob! I didn't know it was possible for you to be even fatter!"

"I know, I should bulk up but what did they do to my **hair?"** Fred whined. "Not only is it the wrong color, it's a mess! Seriously, I'd look better bald than that!"

"Speaking of looks who's the hottie on the left?" Pyro blinked. "The one with the spot on her eye that looks like a Dalmatian! Bow chicka wow wow!"

"I've heard of her," Pietro said. "Her name's Domino. She's come kind of mercenary in Europe."

"I guess they figured they needed another woman on the team," Lance looked at the pictures. "And she's not the only one! Whoa! Check out the blonde on the X-Men!"

"Whoo! Now why don't those guys wear more uniforms like **that?"** Todd's eyes widened. "Who is she anyway?"

"That's Emma Frost," Wanda explained.

"Who's Emma Frost?" Lance asked.

"Don't you know **anything?**" Pietro rolled his eyes. "What am I saying? You're lucky you know what street you're on!"

"Father told us about her. Apparently she's this powerful telepath in Boston who runs her own company and is allied with something called the Hellfire Club," Wanda explained.

"Magneto does business with them all the time," Pietro said. "I mean who do you think funded Asteroid M? Bayville Bank?"

"And she's been put in with the X-Men? Go figure," Lance said.

"Yeah but what a figure," Todd nodded. Wanda hit him. "What? She's still not as good looking as you pookums!"

"Speaking of looks take a look at how freaking ripped the X-Men are," Lance said. "Wow! Kitty looks really hot with her hair down."

"Yeah you would like that," Wanda rolled her eyes. "Oh look Colossus is on this team too. There's a shock. And I'm not crazy about how they did Nightcrawler's eyes."

"Looks a little old school to me," Todd shrugged. "They got Angel and Beast in this but not Iceman. How whack is that?"

"I don't see Rogue in this picture," Fred looked at it some more. "Was she supposed to be in this?"

"Knowing her she probably won't even care either way," Pietro said. "But Evan's not in this either! And I am! HA! Like he doesn't even really exist! Ha ha!"

"Are you still on that stupid rivalry?" Todd looked at him. "Dude, it's over. Even the Fuzzball and I don't go at it that much anymore."

"Yeah I think when your rival goes to live in the sewers, that's kind of a sign of abdication," Fred nodded.

"Boy Fred that word a day calendar is really paying off isn't it?" Lance quipped.

The doorbell rang. "Yeah it really helps sharpen my mind," Fred went to get the door. "Today's word is kind of hard. It's lickspittle. It's another word for a suck up that doesn't know it. I'm having trouble putting it in a sentence."

"What about my brother?" Wanda quipped.

"No, it's not as obvious as him," Fred said as he went to open the door. "I need someone that doesn't realize what a dork he is."

As he opened the door there was Scott Summers. "Hello Blob," Scott said. "Is the rest of the brain trust here?"

Fred looked upwards. "Wow, talk about asking for something and getting it. Come in Slim, we were just talking about you."

"Let me guess," Scott grumbled as he walked in the living room and saw the pictures. "You saw the stupid pictures for that stupid show too! I can't believe the professor did this to us!"

"Okay I know why **we're **mad at this," Lance did a double take. "Why are **you?**"

"Yeah isn't this whole cartoon thing like Pro-X-Men Wonderfullness or something?" Pyro snorted.

"Take a look at that dorky costume he's wearing," Pietro snickered as he pointed to the picture. "**That's** why!"

"Oh yeah. I see the novelty condom look is in," Lance snickered. "And I thought they screwed my uniform up!"

"It's a little more than that," Scott grumbled as he sat down. "The cartoon is called **Wolverine** and the X-Men! Wolverine! Like **he's** the freaking leader! **I'm** the leader of the X-Men! That should be me in front!"

"Oh, oh yeah I get it," Fred realized. "He's hogging the spotlight huh?"

"Wolverine! They picked **Wolverine?** The guy doesn't even hang around the mansion half the time and they picked **him?** What does he have that I don't?" Scott snapped.

"A personality," Todd quipped.

"A really cool healing factor and those metal claws," Fred added. "And that cool motorcycle he rides on."

"That whole mysterious past thing," Pyro added.

"He's a lot better fighter than you are," Pietro added.

"And I have to admit from a female point of view he is a lot hotter than you are," Wanda said. "Even in yellow spandex."

"You think?" Lance asked.

"Oh definitely, I mean with the growl in his voice and…" Wanda began.

"I GET IT! FORGET I ASKED!" Scott shouted.

"Please, Summers how **could **we?" Lance snickered. "I mean you did give us a pretty good opening line."

"Good? It was almost perfect!" Todd laughed.

"You're right, I should **know** better by now," Scott sighed. "But even that's not the worst part!"

"There's a **worst **part?" Wanda asked. "What is it?"

"Take a look at that picture," Scott pointed. "See anything missing? Or should I say, **anyone?"**

"Hey! Jean's not in this!" Fred realized.

"Huh maybe this show won't be so bad after all?" Pietro quipped.

"Oh yeah well you see that blonde over there?" Scott pointed.

"Emma Frost, yeah?" Todd said. "What about her?"

"You know **who** she is?" Scott was surprised.

"Who doesn't?" Lance mocked. "Please, we're not idiots! Everyone knows who Emma Frost is! So Jean's mad that another hot telepath replaced her on the team huh?"

"Not just the team," Scott winced. "It turns out…She's my love interest on the show."

"You're joking?" Lance did a double take.

"Nope," Scott took out a door handle. "Do you know what this is?"

"What?" Lance took it.

"It's what's left of my car after Jean telekinetically tore it to pieces," Scott sighed.

_**"SCOTT SUMMERS YOU JERK! GET BACK HERE AND TAKE YOUR**_ _**BEATING LIKE A MAN!"**_ Jean was heard screaming from across town.

"You guys mind if I hang out here for a little while?" Scott asked. "At least until it's safe to go home?"

"Figured this would be the **last** place she would look for you huh?" Lance asked.

"Yup," Scott nodded. "Jean may be a great telepath but her intuition is really bad."

"We figured that out when she was dating Duncan Matthews," Todd nodded. "You can hide in my room. I got a lot of metal siding added and some cool old grenades. I'm not sure if they work or not…"

_**"SCOTT! I SWEAR WHEN I FIND YOU…"**_ Jean shouted.

"Something tells me they're gonna come in useful…" Scott groaned. "Toad, do you have any idea where we could get a tank?"


End file.
